Best Friends and Why I Don’t Have Any

“Best” is a word that I overuse. Every movie I like, every funny moment, new outfit, song, show, or couple are all instantly bestowed the title of “best.” Due to my over use, the word “best” has lost its meaning. Not that I won’t continue to say that Kat falling down the stairs was the best thing I’ve ever seen, or that the next martini I drink is the best. But I do plan on never using it to describe people, especially my friends.

I don’t like or agree with the term “best friend.” It implies that you are in the habit of ranking your friends. The point of friends is to have a group of people that you are able to be yourself around without worrying that they are judging you for it. I understand that people use this term in reference to the friend that has stood by them for years and has been a rock in their life. Is that to say that newer friends are of a lower caliber than older? If your new friends aren’t as great as the old standbys, then why are you still trying to make friends? Maybe your best friend is someone you tell all your secrets to. In relationships, secrets are a bad idea, I don’t care if you are dating, hooking up, friends, or related. I don’t think that I really have any secrets, I readily tell my friends almost everything about myself. I expect all my friends to understand the no-judgement (unless I ask for it or am being a complete moron) circle.

This isn’t to say that I’ve never crowned someone with the title of my best friend. I have, but I question my process. The girl that I considered to be the best was someone that I had known from age four and who’s mom was friends with mine, which meant plenty of sleepovers and group outings. But how can time together make one person better than another? I don’t believe that it does. It may mean more common interests, but if I wanted to be friends with someone exactly like me, I would hang out with myself.

I won’t ever forget the look on a friend’s face when my seventh grade self revealed that while I was her best friend, she wasn’t mine. That’s when I realized how stupid the whole thing is. My friends are people that I love and care about. They are all there for different reasons and in different ways. Some friends are ones that I know I will have until the day I die and others are ones that only stay in my life for a brief time. That doesn’t make any one of them less valuable

Your friends are there to build you up, support you, give advice, to know that you need to be told that maybe you’ve taken one too many steps towards crazy, and when crazy is just what you need. That means that you should do the same for them. I don’t think that includes a ranking system that should be reserved for measurable data only.  Someone is either your friend or they aren’t. You value them or you don’t.

Perhaps we should leave best friends to the children who can’t drive or drink and who’s biggest problems are who kicked who at recess. Because once you learn the true value of the people you care about, you realize they are incomparable.

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